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So here’s some Spider-Man pics, I guess.

July 15, 2011

This pic of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone from EW looks like a still from a 90’s soap opera… but it’s more Spider-Man pics, via First Showing.

Only it’s not another chapter, it’s a reboot. Which is a replacement. More after the jump, if you’re not as bored as I am.

Regarding the sidebar and the web shooters… aren’t organic web shooters canon now? Yeah, yeah, we were all against them when Raimi introduced the idea, but it made a lot of sense. How is some 17 year old kid going to come up with that kind of technology?

Also, these spider puns are hilarious. Entertainment Weekly, the cutting edge of modern humor writing.

Legs, get it? Because he’s a spider!

Yeah. Oh, and there’s Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben and Sally Field as Sally Field. Jeez. Couldn’t we throw a gray wig on her or something?

Also, look to the right, sexy time! Upside down kisses, pfft, what upside down kisses? Who needs original spins on romantic superhero macking when we can just have the cliche girlfriend tending to the hurt hero? I bet he’s going to be whiny about how much it hurts.

Upper right is Rhys Ifans as the Lizard. Did we already know the baddie was going to be the Lizard? I stopped paying attention.

We’ve already hashed and picked apart the costume, so I haven’t got a whole lot to say here, other than meh. I like Spider-Man. He’s easily one of my favorite superheroes of all time. But I’m not seeing anything here that we haven’t seen before. If you’re bothering to remake a great movie and story, you have to do something new and interesting with it! At least, something more interesting than swapping a redhead out for a blonde.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Encrazed Crafts permalink
    July 18, 2011 10:32 pm

    And if it IS a blonde, at least make it Black Cat. The writers always seemed to like her over MJ anyway.

    …Still think he looks like a brightly colored Hard Gay.

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