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Attention Stanky Men

July 20, 2010

You have been lied to.

Those ads depicting some scrawny yet still attractive man liberally spraying AXE Body Spray all over his shirtless self and then is unable to walk down the street without being sexually assaulted by women? Lies. All of it is lies.

No woman likes AXE Body Spray. Not one.

To all you gentlemen heading out to ComiCon with the intent of picking up ladies along with swag, take note. You’re probably a smelly bunch. That’s okay. But you don’t remedy the situation by bathing in this crap that smells like industrial cleaner with some bizarre scent thrown in in an ineffective attempt to cover up that chemical smell.

Here is what you do instead. Wash yourself. Wash yourself well with some un- or lightly scented soap/body wash. Apply an un- or lightly scented deodorant/anti-perspirant. If you are very concerned about your body odor, look into changing your diet. Cut down on the red meat, grease, and garlic.

DO NOT COVER IT UP WITH THIS SHIT.

The natural scent of a man who takes care of himself can be the sexiest thing on earth. That is all.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. theboredpoetess permalink
    July 20, 2010 11:14 am

    Amen.

  2. scandalousmuffin permalink
    July 20, 2010 3:19 pm

    I like Old Spice. Especially on a man riding a horse. Backwards.

  3. July 20, 2010 9:20 pm

    I can’t find Old Spice sexy because my dad used to wear it in the wayback. :\

    Have to agree, though. My husband doesn’t even use deodorant half the time, and I think he smells awesome. (He DOES shower daily, so don’t get any ideas about uncleanliness being sexy, stinky guys.)

  4. scandalousmuffin permalink
    July 21, 2010 5:03 pm

    Pheromones rock. Medical studies show that if you like the smell on your man, you will probably have healthier babies than with a men you find stinky.

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